Honoring Anger

Honoring anger starts with being present and aware. When we acknowledge the sensations we feel in our bodies and the emotions connected to our sensations, we can more fully experience the anger in our lives. More subtle emotions like hurt, hostility, frustration, resentment, and dismissiveness add depth to the core emotion of anger.

​In your body, you may feel clenched, hot, prickly, constricted, tense, pushed, agitated, and pressured.

​For me, anger shows up in my face first. I notice the clenching in my jaw, the pressure in my temples. Sometimes I catch myself serving up eye-rolls, side-eyes, and slow blinks. It can be helpful to identify the sensations and emotions that signify anger.

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When you are aware of how you feel and what situations evoke anger, you can make more authentic choices, practice self-care, and honor the wisdom of your emotions.

According to Hilary Jacobs Hendel's book "It's Not Always Depression", anger seeks boundaries. Boundaries can mean different things to different people. For me, setting boundaries means making different choices for myself. A few years ago, I thought setting boundaries meant only communicating expectations. Both are needed, but now I have a better sense of what I can actually control...me. Finding ways to set boundaries that work for you has the potential to learn more from your anger.

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​Tracking your anger can be enlightening. By noting what's happening at times you feel angry, you can begin to identify patterns. Here's what I noticed brought anger when I tracked it for a week:

• People in my personal space, especially for extended periods. 
• Being delivered monologues.
• Being interrupted with (seemingly) unimportant requests when trying to complete a task.

For me, anger comes from my space being invaded. It comes from other’s demands. It comes from self-centered behavior. It comes from entitlement. By tracking your anger, it's possible to gain deeper insights into what brings irritation. 

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It takes presence, patience, and practice to honor and nurture your emotions. Take your time and remember that caring for your emotions with compassion is deep self-care!

If you'd like more emotion education, check out:

• Linsday Braman's Emotion-Sensation-Feeling Wheel Handout 
• Hilary Jacobs Hendel's book It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self
• Brené Brown's book Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
• Dr. Tracy Marks YouTube Video Claim Your Emotions: How to Identify and Name What You're Feeling

If you’d like more on boundaries, check out: Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
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If you'd like guidance on honoring your anger, I have created an Anger Journal, which is available for purchase on the Present to Beauty Etsy shop.

Click the above image to go to Etsy

​This 8 page journal includes:

• Information on anger
• Four journal prompts
• Space to note how to best nourish your anger
• A anger tracker
• Space for reflection
• A 4x6 printable photo reminder